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How To Not Take Things As Personally

We've all been there. There is the comment from a friend, stranger, family member that just cuts really deep. Maybe they intended that but perhaps it was just misguided. Maybe there was truth in a very unhealthy delivery to you? Here are some practical tips for not taking comments as personally as we do.


  1. It's not always about you- Yes the comment was directed at you but perhaps their rudeness has nothing to do with you. Perhaps they have had a really bad day, some upsetting news or displaced anger. When people are rude (think bullies) they are often reflecting their own internal issues.

  2. Trying looking at both sides of the comment- Ask yourself, what else the person may have been trying to say or do. For example, if they didn't smile at you, you may assume they do not like you or are mad at you. What if though, they are an introvert and uncomfortable with initiation in communication? That would flip the interpretation of the events that just occurred.

  3. Find the constructive criticism- Maybe the comment itself just rubs you the wrong way. Maybe you can find the good in the comment, as rude or harsh as it was. Or maybe they were actually trying to help you with offering criticism but the delivery was off. Maybe there is a truth you can still take away and learn from.

  4. How did others take this- Maybe check in with an outsider to see what their perspective is on the situation. Having an unbiased opinion can help you gain insight.

  5. Understand your limitations in relationships- You can't please everyone. Let me say that again. You CAN'T please everyone. You will just make yourself miserable trying.

  6. Your worth is not tied in to your mistakes- Mistakes can be opportunities for growth. They do not have to define you or have control over you. Even if the person is calling out a mistake you did make, that doesn't mean it has to continue to define you. Your self-worth is found in something much higher.


The next time that comment starts to cut deep, try reading through these steps again. Take some deep breaths and see what else you can gain from the situation. Those comments do not have to ruin your day. Get the control back!


~Tiffany



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